Matthew decided to buy his wife a really nice bottle of white zinfandel. On his way to Thresher's he glanced into the front room of his neighbours, the aspirational couple with Sky Sports. On the TV in their front room Joey Barton petulantly kick another footballer as he was being sent from the field of play. Matthew hated Joey Barton, as most sensible people do. The scoreline he saw on the screen suggested that an interesting finish was in prospect, particularly as Barton's team now had only ten men on the pitch, so Matthew decided to find the nearest pub and watch the conclusion of the match. The result went the way he hoped it would, but that's not the point. Luckily his relationship with Ellie did not suffer as a result of Joey Barton's antics, but that's not the point either. The point is that the relationship could have improved. There is no way of knowing what new avenues that one bottle of wine may have opened up.
The moral of the story: Joey Barton is responsible for the stagnation of the human race.
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