The Leather Jacket

You know you won't buy the leather jacket. This makes you want it more.

You know the leather jacket won't suit you, that it will make you look like a 1950s loser or a character from Twin Peaks. This makes you want it more.

You know she won't buy you the leather jacket, even though it's your birthday soon - an important one with a zero at the end - and you've stared at it every time you've passed the shop with her. This makes you want it more.

You know she will say, 'Save your money. Don't buy the leather jacket.' This makes you want it more.

You know how many dead cows it takes to make a sofa, but you have no idea about a leather jacket. This makes you want it more.

You buy the leather jacket, and it looks like shit, so you take it back to the shop.