Pelé is the greatest footballer who has ever existed, and he has trouble getting an erection. An old friend of mine, let's call him Dan, was a pretty good footballer but now he has no money. He managed to get three girls pregnant before he hit twenty.
If there was a way of measuring happiness - by attaching electrodes to Pelé's temples, by psychologically analysing Dan - it would be interesting to get the two together and conduct a comparative study. Maybe take them both out to Nando's. Publish the results in the Lancet, or whatever. But there isn't a way. And in any case I think they'd come out of it about equal.
The sun is booming down on Pelé and his family (I'm sure he lives in California or somewhere like that). Dan still plays five-a-side. I can tell you which one is happier because I'm a writer, but I won't tell you because I don't know.
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